Good Morning Quotes Funny 120+

Good Morning Quotes Funny 120+

Good Morning Quotes Funny to Kickstart Your Day

Are you a morning person? If so, you probably won’t appreciate these quotes. Nope. These funny quotes about mornings, good mornings, and the people that wish such things on others are decidedly negative.

  • “Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?” — J.R.R. Tolkien
  • “Never face facts; if you do you’ll never get up in the morning.” — Marlo Thomas
  • “Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” — Glen Cook
  • “Every single day I wake up and make up my mind that I am going to work really hard. Then my mind laughs at me and says ‘Good joke.’ Then we laugh for some more time and I go back to bed.” — Gehenna Toss
  • “I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.” — Jarod Kintz
  • “Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o’clocks in one day.” — Terry Pratchett
  • “Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.” — James Marsden
  • “Morning will come, it has no choice.” — Marty Rubin
  • “Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon” — Tony Smite
  • “So far as I know, anything worth hearing is not usually uttered at seven o’clock in the morning; and if it is, it will generally be repeated at a more reasonable hour for a larger and more wakeful audience.” — Moss Hart
  • Good morningis a contradiction of terms.” — Jim Davis
  • “There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.” — Kristen Chandler
  • “I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.” — James Lileks
  • “Birds scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak to warn us all of the truth, but sadly we don’t speak bird.” — Kurt Cobain
  • “Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.” — Punit Ghadge
  • “Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something. — Robert Heinlein
  • Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore. — Rachel Caine
  • The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue. — Dorothy Parker
  • Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield. — Catherynne Valente
  • Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all. —David Lynch
  • The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. — Jean Kerr
  • My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me, take a quick shower, get dressed in the dark and bolt out the door. — Willie Geist
  • Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees and then kindness. — Nanea Hoffman
  • I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake. — Lewis Black
  • I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. — Winston Churchill
  • One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know. — Groucho Marx
  • I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up. — Benjamin Franklin
  • You feel a little older in the morning. By noon I feel about 55. — Bob Dole
  • Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not. — Ursula Le Guin
  • The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. — Robert Frost
  • Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. — Robert Orben
  • Sometimes I wake up and think I should start wearing a beret, but I don’t do it. — Mitch Hedburg
  • I’m sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. — Frank Sinatra
  • Everyone should experience a sunrise at least once a day. — Phil Dunphy
  • It sounds plausible enough tonight but wait until tomorrow. Wait for the common sense of the morning. — H.G. Wells
  • When reality and dreams collide, typically it’s just your alarm clock going off.” — Crystal Woods
  • Mornings are almost clean slates. I say almost because the residue of yesterdays is sometimes stuck on them. — Medeia Sharif
  • I yawned and stretched luxuriously in the morning. I make noises when I stretch because it feels ten times better than stretching silently.” — Kevin Hearne
  • A morning coffee is my favorite way of starting the day, settling the nerves so that they don’t later fray. — Marcia Carrington
  • Morning not only forgives, it forgets. — Marty Rubin
  • In the morning, I woke like a sloth in the fog. — Leslie Connor
  • Sunrise is starting to feel like a guilt trip. — Kris Kidd
  • Love is blind. Especially in the morning, because I can’t see a damn thing before having coffee. — Aleksandra Ninkovic
  • I wake up in the morning and lay in my bed waiting for my mom to prepare breakfast. And suddenly I remember that I’m the mom. — Unknown
  • Lose an hour in the morning and you will spend all day looking for it. — Richard Whately
  • I hate mornings, they start so early. — Janet Evanovich
  • The best part of waking up is still a mystery to me. — Unknown
  • “I want to live my life in such a way that when I get out of bed in the morning, the devil says, “aw s***, he’s up!” — Steve Maraboli
  • “What irritates me most of all about these morning people is their horribly good temper, as if they have been up for three hours and already conquered France.” — Timur Vermes
  • “Some mornings I just feel like breaking the damn alarm but then one thing always stops me. I paid hundreds of dollars to buy my phone.” — Job Might
  • “I have always disliked the morning, it is too responsible a time, with the daylight demanding that it be ‘faced’ and (usually when I wake for I wake late) with the sun already up and in charge of the world, with little hope of anyone usurping or challenging its authority. A shot of light in the face of a poor waking human being and another slave limbs wounded into the light-occupied territory.” — Janet Frame
  • “I need to get up; my coffee needs me.” — Unknown

Funny Good Morning Quotes

  • “Getting up early is the first step in the wrong direction.” — Unknown
  • good morning quotes funny
  • Good Morning, lazy! May this day be full of productivity…from someone else! Obviously, not you!
  • Good Morning! Parting from your best friend can be difficult… but I am sure you will go back to bed, in no time!
  • As the day begins, remember that I am your friend…you’re welcome!
  • Good Morning to a friend who starts each day by asking important questions: Should I get up at ten or eleven? Is there pizza left over from last night? Have a good day, deep thinker!
  • Your morning should begin with a message from a friend who really cares about you…but that’s not happening, today! Take care, I guess!
  • Good Morning to someone I would like to consider to be a friend. Don’t get too excited. I stated that I would like to
  • Good Morning to someone who sets, when the sun rises, and rises, when the sun sets! Pretty sure you’ve got that backwards, friend! Have a nice nap!
  • Sending you a Good Morning message, knowing it won’t reach you, until the afternoon! Have a good day, friend!
  • Friend, someday you will be a morning person! But, not today. Go back to sleep!
  • Good Morning to a friend, who outdoes everyone… in sleeping! You excel at that!
  • good morning quotes funny
  • Good Morning to a friend who does not know when to quit, mainly because he never starts! Have a restful day!
  • Good Morning to my friend! Here is to forgetting about responsibilities and relaxing, all day! You know, the same thing that you do, every day!
  • Good Morning to a friend who never stresses about anything, because you are always asleep!
  • You know I’m a true peacekeeper, but let me finish my coffee first and nobody gets hurt! Have a Good Morning afterward!
  • [Alarm > Snooze], [Alarm > Snooze], [Alarm > SNOOZE, MAN, is this alarm clock stubborn or what? Good Morning, anyway…
  • Good Morning to the only friend I have who likes getting up in the morning! Have a good day, weirdo!
  • It’s a Bonjour in France and a Buenos dias in Spain, but I might get that right in English after this third cup of coffee, thank you!
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  • Good morning to a friend who knows me to the core, yet for some reason still sticks around. Here’s to another day full of laughter and fun!
  • Knock, Knock!Who’s there?Your friend!My friend who?Your friend who needs a key so I can drag you out of bed in the morning, sleepy head!
  • Ugh, is it morning? Not again! It’s almost as if the moon comes out to let us just wink instead of getting a full night’s sleep.
  • I am not sure what I’m doing up this early, but I don’t deserve to suffer through this alone. It’s pretty much torture. So… good morning, buddy!
  • Good morning, wild and crazy friends! Grab your coffee and let the busy day begin!
  • You know you’re a mom when your mornings begin with a little kid’s legs kicking you in the face instead of hearing your soft alarm clock. Worth it? Definitely. Good morning, friend!
  • Let’s face it. The worst part of waking up is actually having to wake up. Here’s to you as you suffer through that struggle. Good morning!
  • Good morning! Don’t let the exhausted look on my face deter you from waking up yourself. We can make it through this together.

120+  Perfectly Accurate, Funny Quotes About “Good Mornings”

  • good morning quotes funny
  • Good morning! Wake up! It’s time to take a big drink from your coffee cup!
  • Good morning! Open your mouth wide! I will just go ahead and pour this coffee right inside!
  • My idea of a perfect morning is opening my eyes, rolling over, and going back to bed. Here’s wishing you an equally joyous time. Good morning!
  • Good morning dear friend. Today as I was getting dressed I thought- a good friend is like a good bra: supportive, meant just for me, the perfect fit. Thanks for being my ultimate support system.
  • Good morning, bff, did I mention that you’re my one and only human that I can goof off with, get drunk with, and have midnight chats with that never get old? Well, you are, so congrats to you!
  • Dear friend, good morning to my BFF, best pal for life, wish-I-found-you-sooner human, super genius, know-it-all you. Have a fabulous day, bestie!
  • Hey goofball, I love having you as a friend but don’t forget the sweet treats today- my sweet tooth is itching something crazy. See you soon. Oh yeah… good morning.
  • Good morning, octopus! That’s my new nickname for you- someone reminded me recently that friends come and go, but true friends stick to you like an octopus. Thanks for being my bestie.
  • Hey friend, I know we just hung up and it’s only 5am, but I forgot to tell you: good morning!
  • Good morning, friend- I’m so glad that we are both morning people so we don’t have to shoot each other. Morning people hate non-morning people. I couldn’t stand to lose my bestie.
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  • Good morning, friend, thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder last night. I know you’re a true friend- now, are you ready to go hunt down that idiot with me?!
  • Good morning, friend, if people only knew how hilarious, funny, and amazing we are together, everyone would want to be a part of our little gang. But to be honest I kind of like it with just me and you. Have a good one, BFF.
  • Good morning friend, just wanted to tell you thanks for being a crucial part of my weird self. Love, your best friend forever.
  • Good morning you stupid human, fart-brain, cheese ball… what? That’s how you know we’re good friends: we can call each other anything and still be BFF’s.
  • Hey friend, good morning. I know life has got you down recently, so call me. I know you can’t laugh at yourself so I will do it for you. After all, what else are friends for? You can count on me.
  • Good morning friend, thanks for being such a sport last night. I was going to try that at my house but the instructions said: don’t try this at home.
  • Today, I wanted to wish my most dedicated workmate, a Good Morning! Unfortunately, he’s already at work, and you’re here! Have a good day, anyway!
  • Good Morning! May the coffee in the office break room be fresh, may the copier actually work, may you get to work at a different branch, for the day!
  • Good Morning to a workmate who consumes more donuts and takes more mid-day naps, than anyone! You are my hero!
  • Good Morning! Working with you is always interesting! Not good or bad, just interesting!
  • On the first morning I saw you enter the office, I thought, she’s not really going to do anything, and I was right! Have another leisurely day!
  • Good Morning! I always look forward to seeing you at work! You take attention away from what I’m not doing! Here is to a day filled with distractions!
  • Good Morning to the person who I work with! Not my workmate. Just the person who I work with!
  • Good Morning! Working with you is an experience! You decide whether it’s good or bad!
  • Good Morning, workmate! When I picture someone who is efficient and tidy, I see someone else! Here is to coming into the office, anyway!

Funny Good Morning Quotes and Sayings

  • good morning quotes funny
  • Good Morning! Your presence at work reminds me of why I can’t wait to leave, at the end of the work day! Thanks for keeping me motivated!
  • Good Morning! Monday through Friday, nine to five, I get to work alongside someone who arrives at the office, with determination, boosting the morale of all of his workmates…then there’s you! You are also at the office!
  • Sending a Good Morning message to a workmate who is experienced in management! You manage to be late, you manage to never finish anything, you manage to…
  • Good Morning to the person at work who makes everyone wonder! Like, if there are job openings at other companies!
  • Good Morning, workmate! Being around you has inspired me…to quit and find a new job!
  • Good Morning! Working with you is quite a ride! Down a deep, dark tunnel!
  • Good Morning! May the work day be brief, and may you catch up on sleep, without getting caught by the boss!
  • Good Morning! I often wonder what it would be like to work with someone who is cooperative, then I look at you…and know that will never happen! Oh, well. Enjoy your day.
  • good morning quotes funny
  • Good Morning, workmate! You start a lot of work. You never finish it, but you do start it!
  • Good Morning! May the work you evade today, not catch up with you!
  • Good Morning! Working with you is an adventure! Into a forest, full of wild animals!
  • Good morning, co-worker! I am finally here to help, just 4 hours late.
  • Here’s fuel to awaken your senses, improve your outlook, and eliminate your frustrations. In other words, I brought you a cup of coffee. Good morning!
  • Good morning, fellow workers! It’s another day to start positively and end with more to do than we began. Here’s to us!
  • good morning quotes funny
  • Why is it that every time I wake up early, I have to go to work? At least I get to work with you! Good morning, workmate!
  • In my house, we don’t bother with saying “Good morning.” Those moments have passed. So, to you I say, “busy morning!” and let’s get to work!
  • good morning quotes funny
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